Things have been
quiet around here, I know, but I’m still here. Things are going pretty well –
the kids continue to speak German with me and other adults they know are
German. Punk 2 speaks German to his German friends, even the younger ones that
are still more prone to mixing, and has asked to learn how to read
and write German. Punk 2 frequently speaks English with other German kids, but is
quite eager to meet up with them. Sibling language continues to be English,
though sometimes there is also room for German.
We’ve been coasting
along happily for a while (which is probably why I haven’t had much to say
lately), but Punk 1’s stubborn nature is once again getting the better of her. But
rather than just rant about it, I would like to throw it out there in case any
of you have any thoughts on the matter, or advice for us.
Yes?
So here it is: we
made a deal at the beginning of the school year that Punk 1 could skip GermanSaturday School for grade 1, if, and only if, she agreed to work on reading and
writing German with me at home. And by working I don’t mean grammar drills and
the like, rather games and work sheets she loves doing. Home-made crossword
puzzles, games of hangman, reading her beginning reader books together, etc. She
agreed quite eagerly, and we thought all was well. Except that we never really
practiced. We kind of forgot or were busy with other things, but occasionally she
read or wrote a word or sentence or two, and of course we continued to speak
German together.
Over the last
couple of months, I have made much more of an effort to try to get her into
something, like the German kiddie magazine I have subscribed her to, and I've also had
Santa bring some new grade 1 work books (she loves work books, seriously!).
Both were a big hit – but just not enough to really get her going (we’ve only
read a couple of stories in one of the magazines and done the games; she’s only
done a couple of the work sheets in the work book even though she continues to
say she has fun with them).
And more recently
she’s begun to pretty much outright refuse (sound familiar?) to even try to read or write German,
even though she’s fully capable when she’s in the mood. She totally dug her
heels in the other night over dinner when in conversation with Punk 2 the
question around how to spell Kuh (cow) and Muh (moo) came up. She went so far
as claiming that she couldn’t even hear the first sound in 'Muh', even though she
had just spelled 'moo' without a problem and both words sound pretty much the
same.
She has been
stubborn from day one, and not just with using German. That’s how she rolls.
Which is fine, ‘cause she’s getting it from both The Husband and me – but from
the outside, I can see her standing in her own way again, for no particular
reason other than that she’s decided to rather not do it. And I get it, reading
and writing is not all that necessary in her everyday life, but what do we do?
Try harder? Leave
her alone, trusting that she will eventually want to learn it and be able to
pick it up later since it’s such a phonetic language? Sign her up for German Saturday School again, even though it's for second language learners and she'd have kids in her class that won't be able to speak much? Try out the heritage language classes through the school board? Try to get together with friends and hire someone to teach all of our kids reading and writing (my favourite option, just that the only people I know who are interested in this kind of thing have kids that are younger than my two)?
I can see how option 2
might have better results with someone as stubborn as her (yes, I have been
there many times myself), but what if it doesn’t? I’m not ready to consider the
possibility the kids won’t be able to read and write German.
Any thoughts
anyone?
What would you do?
9 comments:
Hört man auch mal wieder was von euch :)... Ich bin auch soooo faul in letzter Zeit, weiß immer nicht so richtig, was ich schreiben soll.
Ich kann deinen Post total gut nachvollziehen und verstehe deine Sorgen und Probleme. Ich hab immer das Gefühl, es liegt doch nun alles auf dem Präsentierteller, jetzt musst du es dir nur noch nehmen, und dann hast du es sooooo viel leichter als ich... Aber da ist eben auch der Knackpunkt. Man muss es sich selber nehmen. Du kannst es nicht in deine Kinder reinzwingen, was auch immer für intelligente, clevere und ausgefuchste Pläne du dir auch überlegst. Und wenn sie nicht will, dann will sie eben nicht. Du kannst einfach nichts machen. Vielleicht würde sie sich dazu überreden lassen, wenn du ihr irgendwas anbietest, aber welchen Preis zahlst du dann dafür? Ich bin da wirklich unentschlossen, muss ich auch zugeben. Ich möchte eigentlich keinen Einfluss darauf haben wollen, wann wie und wie oft mein Sohn seine Sprachen verwendet, aber natürlich möchte ich auch, dass ers irgendwann kann. Aber wenn nicht... ist dann MEIN oder SEIN Plan gescheitert? Ich glaube, eher meiner. Ist ein schwieriges Thema und eine schwierige Entscheidung, aber ich glaube, mehr als Angebote solltest du nicht machen. Sonst wirds irgendwann nur noch Stress und alles geht nach hinten los.
LG und viel Erfolg
Sounds like they keep you very busy.
@Artsy: Hihi, da has Du ja gleich meine schwache Stelle erkannt - MEIN Plan ist der meines Kindes, muss ein. Echt :)
Natuerlich nicht, aber irgendwie ist's ja schon in ihrem besten Interesse, das Lesen und Schreiben auch zu lernen. Ausserdem mache ich mir Sorgen, das ihr 'schlechter' Einfluss sich auf den Kleinen auswirkt - der wuerde ja durchaus auch mit ihr Deutsch sprechen, hat aber von ihr gelernt, dass man das doch nicht macht. Und als er neulich sagte, er wuerde auch gerne Deutsch lesen lernen, hat sie ihn auch gleich wieder etwas argwoehnisch angeguckt.
Nun ja. Wir fliegen diesen Sommer wohl nach D, vielleicht bringt das ja was, hoffen kann man ja immer :)
Ausserdem kann sie ja auch wenn sie will, vielleicht sollte ich mich darueber freuen.
@everyone now in English: Artsy pointed out that my plans might be different from what my kids want and that it might be wiser not to push, but to just offer.
Which is true of course, but I'm still not ready to let it go completely as I think (I know, my plans.... their plans....) it is in their best interest to also learn reading and writing.
And I also said I'm worried that her 'bad' influence is going to stop Punk 2 from wanting to learn reading and writing, should appreciate that she can actually read and write when she wants to, and hope that our trip to Germany this weekend might help change her mind on this.
Any other thoughts?
My oldest daughter was much like you describe your little one. They grow up to be some of the best leaders, if we can manage not to destroy their strong will first.
Understanding my little girl's personality helped me tremendously. this should help.
Understanding The Guardian Personality
Ich glaube, dass euer Aufenthalt in D ihr einen wahnsinnigen Schub geben wird. Wir waren im Frühjahr 4 Wochen in den USA und Sohni hörte außer mit Papa am Telefon NUR Englisch, das war der Wahnsinn, wie sich da alles änderte. Er sprach ja nur wenig zu dem Zeitpunkt, aber das was er sprach, war alles Englisch und ich hatte auch das Gefühl, dass er jetzt wirklich alles besser versteht. Andererseits war ich auch sehr angenehm überrascht, dass ich anscheinend doch keine so schlechte Arbeit geleistet habe :), da er sich von der ersten Sekunde an zurecht fand und alle sofort verstanden hat. Bis dahin kam ich mir oft wie der sprechende Alleinunterhalter vor und hatte oft Zweifel, ob das alles eine blöde Idee war. Aber dann zu sehen, wir können einfach da rüber fliegen und er kann sofort mit allen kommunizieren, das war schon toll.
Jedenfalls hört man von allen Seiten, dass so ein Aufenthalt im anderen Land ein krasser Booster sein kann, der das bisherige Sprachenverhältnis völlig aus dem Gleichgewicht bringt.
Aber nerv sie im Urlaub bloß nicht mit Lese- und Schreibübungen :).
This is such a tough situation! With my son only being 2, we have yet to encounter it. But I'd like to be prepared for the day when....
First, I have to say that as a former teacher at a Saturday school, it used to drive me crazy how little effort the kids would make. They could speak/read/write in German, but it was often like pulling teeth. But then, I couldn't blame them too much, since they only came to me 2 hours once a week. And when there was no reinforcement at home, I often felt like my own efforts were a bit of a waste. So my point is that Saturday school might not be the answer - you could be left in the same pickle anyway. That's not to say I don't believe in Saturday schools - they can be a great way to enhance the learning. But if your daughter is resisting so strongly, I don't know that it would help.
Have you been able to talk to her at all about why she doesn't want to read/write German? I don't know how much you can get out of a child about these things, but maybe a little clue would help you figure out how to get around it.
Finally, a little personal anecdote... When I was 7, my parents started me in piano lessons. At first it was new and exciting. But the boring music and drills got old really fast. I wanted to quite so many times. My dad would drag out the old story about how he wished he'd stuck with his piano lessons... Then would come the bribe - first stickers when I was younger, then earrings as I got older. Mind you, they were terrible about remembering to pay up!! But it was enough to keep me going. Finally I discovered I could play pop music songs. And that did it - I finally wanted to play. I continued to take lessons over the years and of course I'm so glad. I have to say, the teacher made a big difference, too - I think I went through 7 teachers as a kid! I think of this experience a lot as I imagine Aleksander growing up with German. At some point, he's going to appreciate it, right? So I guess I'd do just about whatever it takes to get him through those rough patches when he flat-out refuses.
I hope you find this helpful! Ich drück dir die Daumen :)
@educator: There are many times I'm glad she knows what she wants, just sometimes it drives me up the walls ....
@Artsy: Ich werde mich sehr bemuehen (wegen der Lese- und Schreibuebungen) :)
@Kate: She won't really say anything outside 'I don't like it' and then won't explain why not. Sometimes I wonder whether it's because she knows how much it would mean to me and is somehow trying to get back at me for something (not sure what, really). Even in the early days, she's always been extremely stubborn (not just about German) - so I often think that just not pushing is best. I just don't know that I have it in me to do that and be confident she's going to want to do it at some point. And bribing her doesn't work, she'd rather not have a treat than do something she doesn't want to - told ya, extremely stubborn....
Good luck with Aleksander - I'm really curious how this half day thing you've got going will pan out :) It's totally normal for him since that's what he knows, but in the long run I mean.
Such a tough situation! I like bribery! If my son wants to play soccer or watch tv he knows English homework comes first.
What about an activity that shows the importance of reading and writing, like postcards to a penpal or something?
Hi! I will be hosting February's Blogging Carnival on Bilingualism at www.perogiesandgyoza.blogspot.com on February 23. I really hope you can participate this month too! Please send your link to perogies.gyoza at gmail.com before the 23rd and then check back to see what everyone else has posted!
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