Minority Language Play Dates

As Punks 1 and 2 grow older and have more active social lives, increasingly so with different sets of friends, family time is taking a bit of a hit – as is time for and with German. We want the kids to have friends and have fun at birthday parties and such, of course, and we make an effort to spend most of our weekend time together as a family, but over the last 6 months or so it’s been getting harder to also fit in activities with German friends. And it’s not just our schedule that has been increasingly busy; something similar seems to be happening to the kids’ German friends as well, leading us to have fewer German play dates than we did just a year ago.

 

But when we do have something set up, the kids always look forward to it. They have never indicated they’d rather be doing something else, leading me to wonder sometimes whether they love their German play dates more than getting together with their English friends. If they do, it has nothing to do with them being in German, however. Rather, it's probably because they don’t get to see their German friends as often as their English ones and because these German play dates are different (maybe more special?) from their regular English ones.

 

For one thing, they take more effort to set up, as their German friends don’t necessarily live around the corner from us like their school and daycare friends. I am usually friends with the other mother/parents, so we don’t just drop of our kids at each other’s houses and return a few hours later to pick them up. Instead we socialize, so the play dates tend to last longer and are more likely to involve a shared meal. And lastly, some of our friends are not available for weeks on end as they spend more time in Germany than we do, especially during the summer time.

 

But the kids love their German play dates, and I think they are important as they contribute to helping us stay on track with keeping up the German:

 

• The kids get to hang out with other little German speakers and have fun together, in German.
• They hear and use German with people other than only me, both kids and adults. This way, they get more practice with German speakers their own age, native speakers, and they hear different accents and words. And maybe more importantly, they have more reason to actually use German.
• Sometimes we build in a cultural component, like a visit from Nikolaus.
• We borrow and lend resources, like books, CDs and DVDs.
• We hear and exchange stories about going to Germany and what it’s like there, making the place more real in the kids’ minds and making them look forward to visiting themselves.
• We find out about the often sudden and erratic appearance of German goods, especially this good stuff, in local stores, or some cultural event we didn’t know about.
• Often times, someone brings a German treat, either something home-made or something they got from Germany and had stashed away in a cupboard.
• The kids build connections and relationships to German, Germans and maybe even Germany.
• They become more eager to talk about Germany and find out what it’s like there, again helping them to see it as a real place and not just some far-flung land their mother comes from.
• Interacting in German becomes more normal and 'every-day'.

 

I had to work to establish a circle of German friends, especially with people who have kids of similar ages and who are interested in having their kids grow up with German. It’s not always easy to find the time, especially with those whose husbands also don’t speak German and who may be interested in things other than getting together to give the kids the opportunity to interact in German. But we try. And whenever we go to one/host one, the kids come away with something good and are eager for more.