Language Preferences – Punk 1

Punk 1, barely 6 years old and missing 7 teeth with another one ready to come out soon, is an OPOL child. While she actually refused to follow along for a while, she has come around and is now well used to speaking German with me and English with Papa. She appears content with it, although she sometimes says otherwise. When Punk 2 came along, she was still in the midst of her English-only phase although she understood German just fine, and opted for English as the sibling language. I have always encouraged her to speak German with him (and still do), but except for the odd conversation here and there, she really doesn’t.

Outside of our family, she speaks English with most people we encounter of course, as she is well aware that English is the community language. But when it comes to people she knows to speak German, it makes a difference whether they are adults or other kids.

With the adults, she generally speaks German, regardless of whether they also know English and regardless of who else is around. With German-speaking kids, however, she has come to very clearly prefer English – which all German-speaking kids we know around here also speak, oftentimes better than German at that, and are all too happy to use, too.

There was a time when she stuck to German with other German kids, but she no longer does, at least not when there is more than one other kid around. The first time I noticed this was during a play date with my friend’s daughter – Punk 1 was mainly playing with Punk 2 in English, and when they involved little M who took a while to warm up, they didn’t switch into German as they would have in the past. I assumed this was due to Punks 1 and 2 being so used to speaking English with each other, but we’ve had other occasions since, some not involving Punk 2, when she still spoke English to German-speaking kids, as for example during the monthly outings of our German playgroup.

I still think sibling language plays a role in what she speaks with other kids, at least as long as Punk 2 is also around, but other factors must factor in as well. For example, she is much more used to speaking English with other kids from school, daycare, and other organized activities, and she of course knows that all those other German friends also speak English. She is stronger in English, as are most of her German-speaking friends, making it an easier choice for all of them. And unless we are in a private setting, German also very obviously is the minority language and English is all around us, something she is aware off and that might make it more convenient to use. And of course, it often is also the preference of the other kids to speak English, and not German.

In terms of literacy skills, she can read in both English and German (and in French, too, according to yesterday’s report card – though if you ask her, she will very firmly tell you that she only speaks a little French and doesn’t read it at all….). Her German reading, in which she gets relatively less practice, may lag a little behind what she can do in English, but not much. She doesn’t write much except for birthday cards and the like, but can figure things out in both languages (and again also in French, at least according to her teacher) – but with all of it, her preference quite clearly is English. So when she is the first one up on a weekend morning, she often goes downstairs to lounge on the couch and read a book quietly to herself, but she generally picks an English book. The only time she chooses to read in German is when she is reading to me, or when she is helping me read a book to Punk 2.

We know kids develop differently, but still, we are very happy to see her do so well when we know other German-speaking kids around here who only understand German but don’t speak any. But it's interesting to observe, too. She has only really gotten over her consistant refusal to speak German a couple of years ago, yet things are never constant. Yes, she speaks German now - but sometimes willingly, other times because she knows I will give her a hard time if she doesn't. Sometimes with Punk 2, generally not. For a period of time she spoke German with other kids, now not so much. Sometimes she tries to get away with all English with me or goes to Papa for any requests, rather than say it in German to me. Othertimes she asks for German play dates. Everything is constantly in flux, but it looks like we are headed in the right direction.