Almost Six Years

It's hard to believe, but in a couple of weeks Punk 1 will turn 6. A month after that Punk 2 will be 4. While they will always be my little babies (and they already resent it when I call them that), it means we've been at this bilingualism thing for almost 6 years now. Over 6 years if you count me talking to Punk 1, in German, before she was even born.

We made the decision to raise our kids to be bilingually lightly, inasmuch as you can even call it a decision. Because in all honesty, it was more like we just knew this is what we were going to do, 'no ifs, ands or buts' about it, and also no research or worries about it. Instead, we jumped right in.

And although that was not the smartest thing to do and I have had to catch up on that part later, I love how far we've come.

I love that our kids can speak English with everyone around them and then phone Oma and speak to her in German without batting an eye. It amazes me that they are so used to what language to speak with whom that even in the middle of the night when they startle awake for some reason or other, they explain things in German when I check on them and in English when The Husband does. I am proud that Punk 1 asks for corrections when she knows she’s said something in German that doesn’t quite sound right, and I adore Punk 2 being so enthusiastic about his German, right now anyway, that he’s teaching his little babies German and sometimes puts them to bed in German. It makes me happy that they are excited about any future (and as of yet still unplanned trips) to Germany, or ask to see their little German-speaking friends. And I think it's great when, rare as it is, a German word invades conversations they have in English.

These days, I also worry about their bilingualism and whether or not they are getting enough German to be able to develop the level of fluency we would like them to have. I worry whether one day they will just give up speaking German in favour of English. And I obsess about OPOL and what it does to our family dynamics and communication patterns, given that The Husband doesn’t actually speak German.

But all in all, at six years in I love this bilingual path we're on.

The Husband always assumed and encouraged me to speak German with the kids, and was all for it for practical reasons. He wanted our kids to be able to communicate with their German relatives, to have an easier time getting around in Germany when we visit, and to hopefully take advantage of the more or less free post-secondary education available in Germany.

I wanted all of the above as well, making this a very easy decision - in some ways. In others, is was more complicated. It was easy, because I knew in my heart that I was going to speak German to any child of mine, and at the same time more complicated because I had been living in an English-speaking world for many years and no longer used German in my day-to-day live. It was rusty, to say the least, and I was no longer sure it was all that important to me (outside of communicating with friends and family, of course!). Yet when we started talking seriously about having kids, I knew I would – had to, really – speak with them in German.

And that felt weird. It was an emotional or maybe even instinctive response, one that I didn't expect.

But I worked it all out and when we actually had kids, we just did it. We became an OPOL family without knowing this is what it was, and now make the extra effort it requires. And every day we hear evidence that it's working and that the kids are picking up German. Sometimes it’s one of them saying something that is gramatically complicated. Sometimes it’s one of them using a new word, or making up a song. Or it is one of them teaching The Husband how to say a word properly. It can also be one of them noticing a mistake they commonly make or a word they don't understand and asking about it. And sometimes it’s one of them getting over complaining about speaking German, at least for a while, and just using it without commenting that they really don't like speaking it.

And best of all, it’s both of them having fun and telling me they love me - auf Deutsch.